Take a first small step towards change
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Every little gesture counts
A relationship can grow and evolve when two hearts open up to each other. It is through listening, acceptance, respect, trust, support and recognition that a heat softens.
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Every morning greet your child (or teen) with kind words and a warm tender smile. « Good morning! I’m happy to see you.»
Plan a time, even a short one, where your attention will be exclusively dedicated to the child/teen. No distractions. A moment when you will show interest in his passions, games, needs, desires, dreams, plans, etc.
Demonstrate an act of kindness and generosity by doing something for a child/teen without expecting anything in return. Do so even if the child is very capable of doing it on his own (make his lunch, put away his clothes, offer a lift, make his favorite dish, do his chore, etc.). This just might inspire gratitude on the child’s part.
“The child does not need perfect parents, but authentic parents who recognize their mistakes and their desire to change.”
Arnaud Deroo
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Here are some useful phrases
- It’s nice to see you this morning (tonight).
- I see things are not going well at the moment. What can I do to help you?
- You can count on me. I'm here for you.
- Thank you for trusting me and for sharing (your pain, your joy, etc.) with me. These moments are precious to me.
- You mean the world to me.
- I noticed that you put a lot of effort into… You have reason to be proud of yourself.
- I enjoy the time we spend together.
- I can hear your anger. Can you explain to me more gently what is happening? It's difficult to understand everything when you speak very loudly and it's important what you have to say.
- I see that what I am asking of you is more difficult for you. We will do it together.